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Hello to you on the receiving side! I hope you are enjoying the sights and sounds of this lovely time called May. I have a little story for ya, followed by a few updates. On Monday I was outside my son’s school waiting for him to march out among his classmates. I usually see him before he sees me. As he scans the swarm of parents and bus drivers, I watch for his moment of recognition. Then, a smile spreads wide across his face, his arms extend my way, and he runs to meet me. “Mama!!!” Like I’m some kind of hero. Our Monday routine is to head from school pickup to his ukulele lesson. There, I sit quietly in the corner of the room and read while he strums away. This week I brought the book, When Things Don’t Go Your Way. (Raise your hand high if you know a thing or two about this topic already…) It’s a collection of reflections shared by Korean Zen Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim. His writing is relatable, affirming, uplifting and humorous. He validates the real, often hard to resolve experience of things gone wrong or other than planned, hoped for, or expected. Alongside, he provides inspiration for how one might navigate a hard time with the grace, courage, humility, and faith that keeps one from hardening, getting stuck, or closing up. Anyway, the chapter I read during Paul’s lesson has stuck with me this week. I’ll share a little excerpt here, as I have recently in my public classes. “YOLO is passé; SBCH is here.” When I asked people in Seoul what they were interested in these days, this was the reply I received. YOLO, which stands for “you only live once,” had led to spending beyond their means, and in the end made life more difficult. Hence people were now turning to the idea of finding SBCH, which stands for “small but certain happiness.” This phrase was first coined by the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami in his essay “Afternoon in the Islets of Langerhans.” Murakami described this small but certain happiness with specific examples: “tearing a piece off a loaf of warm, freshly baked bread and popping it into your mouth; listening to Brahms’ chamber music while watching the afternoon sun trace shadows through the tree leaves; a drawer full of neatly folded and stacked underwear.” People often think of happiness as something that can only be achieved in the distant future, or after accomplishing a grand goal. In contrast, the idea of small but certain happiness suggests that we should look for joy and happiness in the little things we do every day.”
In other words, if you’re one who already neatly folds and stacks their underwear, and you derive joy from doing so, notice and make space for that joy. And, if you aren’t already doing that, the lesson is not to race home and get started doing it. Rather, take a look around yourself where you are right now. See if there’s already some small but certain happiness. What do you notice? Small every day joys are easy to bypass, dismiss, and poo-poo, especially in times of difficulty, hardship, and heartache. And, reading about happiness this week, I’ve been reminded of its vital importance, perhaps especially in hard, uncertain times. Happiness is a byproduct of connection. It is essential for human well-being and it is linked to our longevity. According to a team of Finnish researchers who have mapped emotions in the body, happiness is uniquely felt throughout the whole body. Happiness floods us with the feel good hormones that support us in growth, healing, and bonding to one another. When my son runs to me at the end of the school day, his whole body brims with his happiness (and so does mine). It’s good for our health to feel that way. It’s like that whether either of us accomplished anything at all in our time apart, whether we were good or bad, whether we passed the test or not… So, here’s my invitation to you. In times of spring, small wonders abound and surround, if we only open through our sense doors and hearts and pay attention. Consider this season like a training field for us to let more small but certain happiness in. Stop and smell the lilac in bloom. Remove your ear buds and listen to the bird song. Slow down and feel the fullness of life brimming in the air right now. Tell others in your life. Tell me, I’d love to hear! about the little things that renew your experience of joy. I think there’s an important line of inquiry for us to ponder again and again, which I’ll leave you with here: Right now, what is required for you to let some small certain happiness in? Please read on for a few updates :-)
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